Thursday Night Rambling

I go through this phase every now and then. I wonder in spite of everything I do, will anything ever complete me now. I try and travel a lot, experience new places, different company every time, different kinda fun. I play every sport I can lay my hands on. Even now, evening time, I get desperate to leave office and just play. Come weekend and I invariably am out, there is never dearth of enthu public.

I know I shouldn't be complaining and mostly I don't. But time and again I find myself coming to a halt. Full-stop. It could be something as mundane as eating a subway when all of a sudden I stop and just stare. Today coming back home from baddy, I parked the car and just sat there for some time and did the same, stared. That's all I did, bloody stared... into nothing. I had, some time back, let go of certain expectations, certain wishes. I lived past them, I succeeded to a certain extent but with that I also gave up something that defined me within me. I don't think its something I have lost, just buried deep deep inside. Few feeble and futile attempts at uncovering it were made but rather easily tucked away.

I think I will sleep now.