One Rare Day

Today was a strange day. I felt so many emotions, be that of anxiety, to that of surprise, some of realization... then despair, then comfort to peace to laughter to nothingness.

Little things leave a mark on me while the most "intensive" thing goes by without a blip. Fact is apart from me, only one entity knows my ways and I must say He knows it all too well.

Everything packaged in one day is a rarity. I had the chance to interact with a lot of people today but I didn't. I didn't feel like it, just like that. Some of the people who have come to become my own here still do not know how much I value simplicity. Partly because my brain can't simulate too many complications and partly cos laziness kicks in. But it mostly has to do with the fact that I need to execute everything that I do (or think of) perfectly (atleast in my sight) and simplicity helps make that job easier.

Having said that even though I do a good job of simplifying anything to a yes or a no, I do not undermine the efforts that go into the execution of the "yes" or "no". I made couple of decisions today, just a simple "yes" but I cannot possibly fathom the effort I will have to put in to execute it (atleast one of them). Binoy needs to grow stronger.

It's simple. Tomorrow is Friday.

I heard some heavy stuff today. It was one of those talks that has a lot of gravity in it but me being me, I fail to see a practical implementation to it. The core funda is a given but the stress on impossibility makes me wonder what will ever be enough.

One things for sure, what I have learnt over these years isn't futile. One's experience teaches more than one can imagine. I can't answer my own doubts, neither can I say I've it all figured out but it still makes sense to keep it simple. It always does.

I don't wanna be on a high just to see it drop and lose its purpose. I am in it for a sustained attempt, one that will bear results. It's a personal choice, at the end of the day things are only as good as you make it out to be.

Yep, that thing again!

I got to be honest to myself, so I did what I did. Now I gotta take it and go to the next step. I've been like this all along but this is the first time I will have to deal with it(particular place, particular scenario). What happens next is not in my hands but I should be able to deal with it cos I didn't let myself down now.
I be.

One' Good. Two' Better.

Tomorrow is an important day. Finally some action to kick start all that has been going on in my tiny lil brain and heart. I need some of my ppl to be with me to pull it off.

Finally let it be God's Will.

You bet I can crib

So I am little bored. Bored of having too much on my plate at work, bored of having to think, bored of taking time out to do nothing.

Why does 7:17 AM come so soon?
Why does a meeting have to take precedence over football?
Why does pending work and deadlines live through the next 48 hours?
Why is it that Arshu grows up in Pune and I sit here with only her voice to contend with?
Why is it that my future is of great concern to one and all?
Why do people around me have to talk sense and things of responsibility?
Why is it that great summers in Portland are lived without the satisfaction of mangoes?
Why aren't evenings accompanied with chai, parleG and conversation?
Why is mom just a voice or an email?
Why can't Nov 23rd, Dec 17th and Jan 1st be the same day?

Is there no one on earth seriously contemplating making a time-machine?
I still try to be.

Laziness with a Difference

I've been swamped with work off late. My weekends are packed too, there is just so much going on in my life at the moment. Again, I aint complaining but every now and then Binoy must go back to laziness. That is kinda essential and when that doesn't happen, something is obviously wrong. They say that one must find a balance between professional life and personal life. My theory is a lil different though, I need to find the right balance between everything else and laziness.

The pattern of lifestyle I have followed post [one that must not be named] has been pretty rudimentary. Stick to the basics, keep myself happy and let the rest fall into place or take care of themselves. Simple, easy and can be easily incorporated. Laziness accounted for too. The interesting point comes when I see the same fundas in action but for a different purpose altogether. What surprises me most is the bunch of overlap. How many times can you say that person reminds you of yourself? Not very often, isn't it? Interestingly enough, I know that I can make a big deal of it or let it be and somehow I don't wanna just let it be. Conflict in fundas; yeah but there is also something called inquisitiveness. The curiosity to know what's the commonality between us. Why is it that we match so vividly but have vehemently different lives?

I am resting on the fact that some day I will have the answer. This is one exception to the rule, letting go..... not happening.

And just when I started to enjoy existential living, change is lurking around the corner.

I have been in US for about 3 years now but the past one year has debunked certain assumptions. Positive connotation though. Binoy wants to be in a place he can call his own, atleast until Pune beckons. Is it too late? That's not gonna be answered, is it?