I don't have an idea what I'm heading towards, but I couldn't be happier not knowing it. Some time back, I would take pride in the fact that I was in absolute control in spite of the fact that back then my life was as uncertain as it gets.
Things apparently seems to be shaping up pretty nicely now but I'm clueless. It's what I think I want but I fail to fathom its purpose now. Like I mentioned in my early post, reverting back to my old way of life is an option but me thinks not. I have moved on to something new, probably a new phase in my life. A little bit of quarter life crisis has crept in but then to be honest that was always there. Its not that I am unhappy. I am content, I really am. I have pampered myself tons and still continue to do so. Its not even that I have shrugged my responsibilities or duties, I do not believe in that. I have always tried to be the good son, the good friend,the good listener blah blah blah... but in spite of all that my life' heading in a direction unknown to me.
Do I want it to continue? Yes.
Do I want it to continue? No.
Do I want it to continue? I don't know.
Life' changed. I've moved on to better things, have struggled at times but handled the situation the only way I possibly could; by pampering myself. You sometimes tend to look over your shoulder but then that's normal. Mallya uncle is a big culprit sometimes. But that's alright really, you do not delve on your past but think of it as memories; good, bad or ugly. I never wanted to live a life of compromise, I still don't. But then they say everyone does, at some point accept it and embrace it as a part of life. I still wanna think that's not the case, the Binoy in me says you can still do it without the word 'compromise'. I wanna believe him.
I want to make it back out of the tunnel, I just don't know how.
Was this a sad post? Yes.
Was this a sad post? No.
Was this a sad post? I don't know.
I be.
Things apparently seems to be shaping up pretty nicely now but I'm clueless. It's what I think I want but I fail to fathom its purpose now. Like I mentioned in my early post, reverting back to my old way of life is an option but me thinks not. I have moved on to something new, probably a new phase in my life. A little bit of quarter life crisis has crept in but then to be honest that was always there. Its not that I am unhappy. I am content, I really am. I have pampered myself tons and still continue to do so. Its not even that I have shrugged my responsibilities or duties, I do not believe in that. I have always tried to be the good son, the good friend,the good listener blah blah blah... but in spite of all that my life' heading in a direction unknown to me.
Do I want it to continue? Yes.
Do I want it to continue? No.
Do I want it to continue? I don't know.
Life' changed. I've moved on to better things, have struggled at times but handled the situation the only way I possibly could; by pampering myself. You sometimes tend to look over your shoulder but then that's normal. Mallya uncle is a big culprit sometimes. But that's alright really, you do not delve on your past but think of it as memories; good, bad or ugly. I never wanted to live a life of compromise, I still don't. But then they say everyone does, at some point accept it and embrace it as a part of life. I still wanna think that's not the case, the Binoy in me says you can still do it without the word 'compromise'. I wanna believe him.
I want to make it back out of the tunnel, I just don't know how.
Was this a sad post? Yes.
Was this a sad post? No.
Was this a sad post? I don't know.
I be.
2 comments:
Arre Kay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aaho Tasa Naay Ho.
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